Sunday, February 20, 2011

Lucky Me

My life is blessed. I have a wonderful family, amazing kids, a rewarding job, a warm home, and great friends.

While I don't want to seem ungrateful, lots of people have all of those things. That is why I am so excited about the other ways I'm incredibly lucky. It may be necessary for you to sit down, if you aren't already ... wait for it ... patience ... Okay, I can't wait any longer! Here's the good news!

Recently, I found out that an old friend might be searching for me and I can get "better" breasts online! I'm not sure how they knew that my breasts could be "better", but they did! Not only that, but I have two new messages on a singles website that I've never even visited! And, if I had a penis, a company selling a totally natural, herbal supplement could make it larger! And lastly, but please don't spread this around because I don't want everyone knowing, it seems like there's a windfall coming to me, all the way from Nigeria. I'm not going to mention a number, but I will say that with it I could probably buy a better family to go with my breasts!

I ask you: Does life get any better than this?


  1. You know this is the type of fictional character you need to write. A modernd day Phyllis Diller. This is so funny. I could just see a character like this. Come on, think about it.

  2. Fictional character?!?! What do you mean? This is ME! :)

  3. Thanks for the both the written and spoken word......."The trick is to figure out if said license should be revoked." No! Keep right on writing......